No road signs

North, south, east, and west are not terms Hawaiians use to offer directions. Instead you get a lot of, "It's on the Ewa side of the bay" or "Go to the other side of the mountains and then ..."

When I reply something like, "Oh, east of downtown?" I get looks like there's a pineapple growing out of my head.

So we should have not been surprised to get lost along the North Shore.  It's a clump of beaches that lines up from about 9:00 to noon if you think of the island as the face of a clock.  How tough could that be?

Tough.

No matter that we live in the twenty-first century. Along the North Shore, there are no road signs and incredibly few parking lots. You'd think with these beaches hosting the most famous surfing competitions in the world, you could get a little "Velzyland" or "Waimea" sign to point the way. Nope.

Hot, exasperated, and desperate for a bathroom for this middle aged woman, we finally chugged into Turtle Bay Resort where Matt, bless his soul, determined to have a conversation with the concierge. It went something like this:

Matt: Can you show me on this map where Sunset Beach is?
Nice Hawaiian lady: Yes. (frown) Well, it's across from the elementary school.
Melissa: Oh, I saw the school! But I don't quite remember ...
Matt: Hmmm. Okay. Well, how about Pipeline?
Nice Hawaiian lady: Sure! It's just before you get to the ranch.
Me: Oh, I saw the ranch! It was just after the place where everyone had pulled off the road to see the turtles.
Matt to Nice Hawaiian lady: Could you show me, on the map, where that is?
Nice Hawaiian lady: (points in the general direction of the shoreline) There. And you'll also see a waterfall, too, when you park. Turn towards the mountains ...

I put Matt back in the car, on the passenger side. With him navigating and me doing what I was told, we found three or four of the places we'd marked on our map. Later in the week, I found a book called Oahu's Beaches that now occupies a prominent place on our coffee table. During Olympics coverage, when NBC went to commercial breaks or men's gymnastics, Matt studied the North Shore beaches section like it contained the recipe for the elixir of life.

Tomorrow morning, at 9:00 a.m. sharp, we'll be on a beach that is a bit north from a sharp bend in the road where the mountains get perilously close to the shoreline. He'll be suited up to surf. I'll be suited up to take pictures.

How very like our lives this island is -- the only way to find our way is to stop often and ask for directions.